Hope tomorrow will be a happier day for you! Don't wish to see you feeling so down, makes me feel sad, feels useless that I can't make you smile...

It just dont feel right...

There are so many prettier girls around me.. hotter body, with bigger boobies, sexier mind.. sometimes are intelligent, humorous.. and with a pretty smile, perfect height for the heels, nicer figure in tight dresses..

I feel so demoralized now.

Very.

An invisible attachment in between.

If you want it, you fight it

“@MentionTo: #MentionTo your friend who has a dick on his nose just like Squidward.”

only he knows who will I mention this to...hahah our joke

Rainy night. 

Just feels like yesterday when we started a new chapter in our life.. And now the book has no more pages for stories to be written on, it is then left on the shelves untouched.

:'(

if only life is this simple, waking up to the sun shining in front of me, turning in when the sky is filled with stars... life's good. life could be good.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm

I'm indecisive.

At times, I told myself I wanna be wild. Wild like a teenager having lots of fun, drinking, shopping till my bank hits zero, hang out with friends, enjoy life, dye my hair ash brown with dope highlights, dress up pretty to town everyday...

I am gonna do a few of them soon.

I hope.

I need to live a life as a teenager, for once, for real, before I can't.

I am officially a diploma holder!

Congrats to myself, and to all the other 2011 graduates who has successfully walk through these 3 years of poly life despite the ups and downs.

I felt something which I thought I'd never felt; the feeling between "I am performing on stage" and "I am going on stage to receive my certificate". The latter was pretty unexpected. Before that I was like, "it's gonna be the same old feeling like performing on stage, againnnn, whatsmore the stage is my brother lah." Instead, for once, the stage is a stranger.

I am feeling anxious and excited for that few seconds that includes walking to the center of the stage, shake hands, smile into camera, and head off. Just that few seconds, I swear, it has became the most precious moment in my life. :')

How exactly that feels? Hmm, in my parents' perception but using my simple logic, it's like seeing a baby hamster grow up from a tiny red fetus to a fat animal. The growth stages, the patience are all priceless. I pretty much think that's how my parents were feeling, their baby girl has grew up and is 20 now and has just graduated.

So, I felt really happy to see all my friends sharing the same joy as I do, but the thought of us might be distanced apart sooner or later kills my heart. Who says we can't find true friends in poly? Well I did, if you don't, you just simply suck. :)

Great. My first day of a new chapter. Got to start my brain engine and get down to serious business now!

p/s No more delays!


Last but not least..

Dad and mom


My best friends since year 1, whom share the same interest as me :)

The rest at my fb page!

Gd9 x.

Tomorrow will be a new beginning to a new phase of life.

3 years ago, I complaint so much about doing powerpoint slides every single day, having a learning system that starts from 9am to 5pm, the daily 2 and a half hours of break is really still not enough, tasked to complete worksheets and sometimes the questions are either short but difficult or long but easy... well well well.... 3 years later, I am graduating in less than 24 hours' time.

This journey has taught me so much, making me realized so many new things. Be it studies, dance, friends, emotions, they all meant something to me and has definitely help me in my growing up stage.

Studies:
I had a 2.8 GPA during Year 1, I thought I could maintain that way throughout, but apparently I was wrong. Haha. It dropped to 2.6 (rounded up) at the end of the third year, but I am still pleased to know that I only had 2 Ds among the numerous modules I had.

Nobody likes studying, for me, it's a yes and no. Yes to the ones I dearly loved, No to the others that I truly hated. But one thing I learned for sure, is that no matter what we're doing, nothing starts easy, everything will started out to be difficult at first. It's up to us to decide whether we want to see things positively- which is that things might turn out good, or negatively- which is things that might give us a hell time. I'm glad I decided to hang on to tough times and managed to pull through.

For this, I am proud of myself, proud of my motivation and my constant belief in myself.

Dance:
I never regretted joining Hiphop IG (SGC) during Year 1. I remembered clearly the reason why I want to be in. Die-die must get in. I knew I have wasted my teenager youth on other stuffs with lesser interest, when dancing is my love. I knew I wouldn't have a chance to dance again when I stepped into the working society, or probably when I grow up. I don't want to miss this chance anymore. I.Am.So.Gonna.Dance. And because of this constant reminder that "When we grow older, we've more responsibilities and dancing might not even be possible by then", I stayed in SGC for 3 years... and counting :)

SGC has given me much opportunities to perform on stage, push me to my limit to improve myself, going for battles, learn different genres --- these are the physical part.
SGC has also taught me many reasoning of life; loving people, bonding with people, disliking people, unhappiness, fun times, enjoyable yet tiring practices, different thinking in everyone's mind, the should dos and shouldn't dos, politics, economics, people to work with, ways to handle people... oh gosh they just go down the list --- these are mentally involved in me.

But I must be grateful, especially to the first batch of SGC, and probably the "ancestors" of SGC, SMC. They taught me so many things and they're to be seen as my second family. I really wanna thank Rey CA Syafiq KelvinT JC Thumb Matt Abang Jason Jiawei Ash Dehui Suling CherieC Shijia Junhao DY Yauming. They consists the "ancestors", first and second batch of SGC. They guided me through so much. Ups and downs, emotionally, physically, anything, sexually definitely... I srsly learned so much..

Of course, not forgetting the ones from third batch onwards. Muz Sajuto Sanjit Nat Imky Fara CherieW Raizal Jon Aisyah Shark Melow. Because your batch is different from us, that makes you guys special. In fact, each batch are special in some ways. You all allowed me to see things in many different ways. You guys have your own belief, stick to it. I know you guys can do it one day. One day. but just don't forget about us/me.. :)

From dance, I learn that there are endless possibilities in many things we do; we just have to take time to explore and know what we rly want or up to. And there is no right or wrong in anything we do, just that it gonna make some sense and better be the best choice. There are times we fall together, and that's the time we should hold each other and stand right up together; that's what SGC is about; one family, one love.

There're so many things I wanna say about SGC, but it just slowly slipped off my mind.. getting old..

One thing that'll never slipped off my mind, is my love for SGC.

Once a SGC, forever a SGC.

Friends:
I've made a lot of new friends, considering I have to change class almost everyday from Year 2 onwards and plus the same old cliques during Year 1. I'm so happy my number of friends increased so much over the years! Reason being, who likes to be alone? Haha, but the main reason is I get to find friends that I could categorized them under just-friends, friends, good friends, close friends, best friends, true friends, forever friends. Haha I'm serious shit.

I've seen friends with the worst attitude/character, or the ones with really great personality. But however different each of them can be, I always believe in one thing: Accept who you are, not what you are. No matter how bad you can be, I wouldn't blame you because you're born this way! Easy! Simple reason like this. (Except for people who really is annoying, and is not by nature, THAT is a total different story)

Again, learning things from different friends. Some people can be really stubborn, some can be lovely and understanding, some are those with listening ears, some who're totally NOT a listener, some are quiet in disguise, some are totally different when in sch and outside... many more! shesssh...

Well, remember, the people we met have stories behind them, don't hate because they're annoying to you, don't expect to totally love them because you've to! But just stay neutral and like and accept the people around you. Btw, don't hate, it's a waste of time and energy.

I'm glad I've my circle of friends, especially that lovable clique of people.



Sigh...
RP Life....
:')


p/s pardon my English, sometimes I make mistakes while just typing whatever's in my head.. probably most of the time hah
p/p/s I wish this could be an exception and be shared to the world, apparently I still prefer to stay secretive like this ;)

心痛

The best thing about army social night is the guy will bring his girlfriend to the dinner and show his friends who his girlfriend is, and be proud to have her.

I want that day to happen to me too.

I love to take cute photos with a bf; it makes me feel happy
I love to dress up pretty to look good when I'm with a bf; it makes me feel happy
I like to go to places with a bf; it makes me feel happy
I don't insist but I like a bf to be there when I do shopping; it makes me feel happy
I like hugs from a bf; it makes me feel happy
I like forehead kissings; it makes me feel happy
I tend to give a bf freedom bcuz I know he needs it; it's just being reasonable
I don't hope for a 100% possessive bf but I do hope he knows the limit of it; it's a fundamental

i don't know... am I asking too much or it's just the usual things that I see from what most couples do and I get jealous becuz they done it which I don't really get to do it?

More to the latter, I guess.

And after the storm, there will always be a rainbow

I could see myself thinking so much about you for this time being.
May this period be over soon.